Sunday, June 03, 2007
3rd june 2007
“Why do you always try and find fault with me? Can you not try and appreciate my good qualities?”
“Must you always use my things without my permission? Does it hurt to let me know beforehand?”
“Would you stop eavesdropping on my conversations?”
The above questions do sound rather familiar, don’t they? Conflicts, in any form, never fail to find their way into our lives. If they are not dealt with in the correct manner, they can do serious harm to any relationship.
Perhaps family arguments are the most perplexing of them all. Parents can turn into a time bomb on the verge of explosion. Siblings too are hideous monsters who always seem to get on your nerves.
Family conflicts and arguments are probably caused by a breakdown in communication or a misunderstanding. Nobody wants arguments, but somehow they always take us by storm and after the storm, we have the cold wars and punishments to face.
To have four or five absolutely different individuals living under the same roof can be a very trying task. You might have had such a though before,” I wonder how Mum and Dad can give birth to such disgusting creatures as my sister!” It is certainly amazing how we can live together with our family members, to have meals with them or spend as much as two decades by our parents’ side.
Family arguments can involve anybody in the family. The first thing that comes to mind is the ‘wars’ that I have fought with my siblings before. Trivial maters may trigger off the most dangerous outbursts. Most of the time, arguments between siblings are caused by one party being driven to the limits of tolerance. You try to bear with it when you inconsiderate sister switches on the light at two in the morning. You curse her under your breath but throw your blanket over your eyes and force yourself to go back to sleep.
As if to spite you further, she brings in her speaker and starts blasting it aloud thinking her culture of music are the same as yours. You try to control your temper and promise yourself not to start another fight. After half an hour of self-control exercises, you decide that you have had enough. You go off like a cork in the bottle. The end result- both of you have privileges confiscates by half a month because of your row which woke the whole family up.
Our past experiences tell us that arguments can take place anytime and anywhere. You might also have learnt that there is no point in trying to talk sense into a furious parent, an indignant teenager or an unreasonable sister. Perhaps the best thing to do is to allow both parties to calm down and sleep over the unpleasant incident. The problem must be tackled by those involved. It is often wiser not to mention whose fault it was pr who was responsible.
For an argument to take place, there must be two parties and both have an equal responsibility to patch things up. Nobody feels good when a n argument occurs. Beneath the proud surface lies a troubled soul and it does not feel good to know that you have hurt the other party with your careless remarks.
It is basically true that time can heal all wounds. Given some breathing space and plenty of time, all problems can be worked out. Cooperation, trust, tolerance can help prevent arguments from taking place. It is as much our responsibility as the other party’s to ensure that there is peace and harmony in the family.
Posted by bryant at 5:33 AM